Echoes of Elul, Day 14: The Inner Child

By Sarry Refael, z”l

He is always deep inside.

The child from our past.
Who’s rejected,
Hurt,
Different,
Who’s humiliated,
and abandoned.
The one whose company no one wants.
The one who they did not know how to love.
And even if it seems that his wounds have already been bandaged, treated, and healed
They bleed again
In the moment the rejection button is pressed.
Sometimes in old age,
With degrees, honor, and impressive career
And with a lot of wisdom and life experience.
Even with grandchildren – the injured child suddenly pops up and demands justice!
Once again he is at center stage – and again the terrible feeling of shame, the feeling of being excluded and rejected.
What an injustice!

All that’s left is to hug him,
Sometimes by force.
Tell him he’s loved even when he’s angry.
Never think he has forgotten.
He is always ready to jump forward and live and relive all the insults of the past.
Only love overcomes fear and shame.

Sarry Refael z”l, was an Israeli clinical and holistic therapist from Haifa who specialized in empowering psychology after earning her MA degree in Strasbourg, France. Later in her life she was diagnosed with MS and blogged about life, health and love before she died in 2014. This piece was translated from Hebrew by Yanir Dekel from her blog on the Israeli website, TheMarker.