During a period of debilitating depression, my grim reality seemed to last forever. I longed for a magic solution. Thus, I sat, year after year, during High Holy Days, hoping that the ritual would give me what I needed: Renewal. Like magic my depression would be lifted, and I would have the ability to work on my goals. How naïve of me, especially since I wasn’t fully acknowledging that I needed help.
Ultimately, I sought the help I needed from a psychiatrist. I just couldn’t exist anymore in a shadowed world. And since then, in the last three years, I have re-imagined and rebuilt my life with the help of medication, support from friends and family, and my Jewish community. I think this is where the magic I hoped for now plays a part in my life. Re-framing my understanding of the magic I was seeking, I now see how magical love and support are in our lives.