My niece Katie and I performed an act of chesed, lovingkindness, for my late mother this week: we
visited her grave in Florida and lovingly cleaned all of the green algae, moss, and shmutz (dirt) that
had accumulated on her headstone in the humid Tampa air over the past five years. It took a lot of elbow grease, granite cleaner, strong brush work, time, and love. Afterward, we each spent some time sharing some of our favorite memories of Grandma Judy, aka, mom, telling her some of our latest news, and reciting a few prayers. We left some stones from Israel and some seashells, things we know that my mother loved.
I carry my mother in my heart each and every day. I see her face in my reflection every time I look in
the mirror, especially as I get older. I inherited my strong Jewish identity, love of Israel, and commitment to social justice from both my mother and from my late father. I know that my siblings, nieces and nephews, and I all do our best to keep my parents’ memories alive.
Our Temple Beth Sholom Yizkor/Memorial Wall pays similar homage to our beloved who no longer
walk this earth. I love how our wall invites congregants to be active participants in the act of remembering a loved one’s yahrzeit by placing a small stone under the column with the name.
When we remember our loved ones through our actions, deeds, and memories, we keep them alive. They become more than simply an ephemeral memory, fading in and out of our consciousness. They live on through the good works of our hands, hearts, and minds.
Our Torah portion for this week from the book of Exodus, Tetzaveh, serves to remind us of this very
same idea. The portion describes the clothing Aaron and his sons, the High Priests, are to wear when
they perform their sacred duties. One of the special ritual garments is an ephod, a breastplate, decorated with 12 avnei zikaron – 12 stones of remembrance, one stone for each of the 12 Tribes of Israel. In this manner, Aaron and his sons are keeping alive all of their ancestors who preceded them, every time they perform their sacred tasks.
So while we place physical stones on a grave or on our yahrzeit wall to show our presence, what are
our symbolic avnei zikaron, stones of remembrance, that we carry in our hearts, minds, and show by our actions each and every day?
Stones of Remembrance, by Alden Solovy
This meditation is based on four lines in Tetzaveh (Exodus 28:9-12) instructing the creation of stone shoulder fasteners for the high priest’s Ephod. Called avnei zikaron, remembrance
stones, they were engraved with the names of the 12 tribes, the heritage of the Israelite people. This
meditation asks: whose names will you carry as your heritage? It appears in This Precious Life:
Encountering the Divine with Poetry and Prayer from CCAR Press.
Stones of Remembrance
Whose names
Will you engrave upon your shoulders
When you stand before G-d in prayer?
Whose names
Will you carry in your heart
As you sing songs of blessing and praise?
G-d,
Remember us in the name of our ancestors:
Abraham and Sarah;
Rebecca and Isaac;
Leah, Jacob, and Rachel;
Moses, Miriam, and Aaron; and
________________________.
[add names from biblical times who are meaningful to you]
G-d,
Remember us in the name of our sages:
Rabbi Meir, Rabbi Akiva, and Rabbi Nachman;
B’ruriah, Yalta, and Ima Shalom;
The Rambam and the Tur;
Rabbis Regina Jonas and Abraham Joshua Heschel; and
________________________.
[add names of sages of the past who are meaningful to you]
G-d,
Remember us in the name of our teachers:
________________________.
[add names of current scholars and teachers who have influenced you]
These are the stones of remembrance,
The righteous and the driven,
The certain and the seeker,
The silent and the outspoken,
The steadfast and the heartbroken,
Who have led us,
Taught Your Torah,
And rallied congregations and assemblies
To Your service.
Let my name,
One day,
Be worthy.
Let my life
Become a tribute to Your wondrous works,
A remembrance of Your gifts throughout the generations.
